News of Last Week and a Memory of an Old Girlfriend

Last week in Germany, a dominatrix ordered her client to walk around in public in a PVC suit and gas mask, which made some people fearful of terrorist activity. Der polizei were called, and apparently greater or lesser amounts of hilarity ensued.

For some reason, this reminded me of a young woman I dated for a while back in my undergrad years. She was ummm… colorful, and while I was dating her, she worked at a combination head shop and boutique for people who were ummm… even more colorful. In any event, we were talking on the phone one night, and she sounded kind of bummed, so I asked what was wrong.

“Oh, it was a lousy day at work. Someone stole all our nipple clamps.”

I couldn’t help it — I just cracked up, and said, “Terrible times are these, when even innocent purveyors of nipple clamps are subject to such depredations!”

Well, I thought it was funny.

About profmondo

Dad, husband, mostly free individual, medievalist, writer, and drummer. "Gladly wolde he lerne and gladly teche."
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5 Responses to News of Last Week and a Memory of an Old Girlfriend

  1. Alpheus says:

    I know I’m naive about such things, but…how many nipple clamps does one person need, anyway?

  2. Withywindle says:

    “Want,” dear boy; not “need.”

    “I want some more clamps for my nipples,
    And Robbie, please give me your hand—
    Is this the end or beginning?
    How can I understand?”

  3. profmondo says:

    @ Alpheus — To quote the Bard, “Reason not the need!”
    @ Withy — For some reason, I now have a tune from Oklahoma! running through my head: “There’s a bright golden clamp on her nipple…”

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