The Artist Formerly Known as the Major (Ret.) has a new gig in the belly of the bureaucratic beast. Specifically, he’s now affiliated with Washington’s newest monstrosity, the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau. As a consequence, he’s shared a couple of items of what I’m sure he sees as pro-CFPB propaganda via Facebook.
For example, he shared a blurb from Time that informs us that customers who are dissatisfied with their current banking arrangements now can take their gripes to the new government agency, apparently because switching to a bank they like better is an unconscionable burden that merits massive government effort . Likewise, he let us know that the nice folks at CFPB are also being paid tax dollars
as a sop to the Occupy crowd to field complaints about student loans. It would seem that college students just aren’t smart or resourceful enough to be accountable for their voluntary financial decisions.
Now, never let it be said that I’m not a public-spirited citizen. As it happens, I used to write ad copy from time to time, both when I was in the magazine racket and when I was the Voice of Sears (Store #1730, Florence, KY). I think, therefore, that I will donate my talents to the CFPB by offering a few potential marketing taglines. Without further ado:
- CFPB: Infantilizing Americans since 2012.
- CFPB: Bribing you into dependency.
- CFPB: Because only suckers pay their debts.
- CFPB: Not just an unaccountable bureaucracy thriving on borrowed money… well, OK, I guess we are.
Come on, citizens — let’s put that smiley face on Leviathan!