Woo-Hoo! It’s the 1% for Me!

No longer need I keep raking in the sweet, sweet blogcash from you, my readers simply to keep myself supplied with the jelly stuff I scrape off of tinned Vienna sausages! I’m headed for Easy Street, or at least Reasonably Simple Avenue. You see, I found this in my e-mail a few minutes ago:

Greetings,I am Mrs.Nelly Graham an aging widow suffering from long time illness. i am currently admitted in a hospital here in Abidjan cote d’ Ivore, I have some funds I inherited from my late loving husband Mr.Graham Humanity The amount of US$7.000, 000.00 which he deposited in one of the Security Company Here in cote d’ivore and I need a honest and God fearing person who have the feelings of human that can use this funds for God’s work and 15% out of the total funds will be for your compasation for doing this work of God. I saw your email from internet and decided to contact you.

Please if you would be able to use these funds for the Lord’s work kindly reply to me. Please I don’t need any telephone communication in this regard because of my health hence the presence of my husband relatives around me always.

That’s a cool 1.05 mil heading to Mondoville, babies — and I’ll be wearing the platinum training pants.

And some people thought being a medievalist wasn’t the path to obscene wealth. Pfaugh! And pfaugh! again!

Off to price a fleet of convertible Jags…

About profmondo

Dad, husband, mostly free individual, medievalist, writer, and drummer. "Gladly wolde he lerne and gladly teche."
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6 Responses to Woo-Hoo! It’s the 1% for Me!

  1. Kate P says:

    What is “compasation”? Sounds painful. But hey, if it gets you cash. . .

  2. J. Otto Pohl says:

    It is obviously not from a real Ivorian since it is in bad English instead of French. It is without a doubt written by a Nigerian, maybe even one of the pirates that recently attacked a Greek operated oil tanker off the coast of Lome and took 24 Russian sailors hostage. BtW, why isn’t FLG covering the Gulf of Guinea pirates?

    • profmondo says:

      Well, I just figured it was (poorly) translated from French… but if it’s a Nigerian pirate, that would explain both the need to dispose of the cash and the displaced guilt feelings that would lead her generosity to a blog that’s “doing the Lord’s work.”

      FLG, as ever, remains inscrutable.

  3. Withywindle says:

    FLG is one of the Gulf of Guinea pirates. Have you ever seen FLG and a Gulf of Guinea pirate at the same time? QED.

  4. Javahead says:

    Will you think of us when you’re rolling in your new wealth?

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