In Which the Spawn Alienates Her Audience

So, today the Spawn and one of her friends thought it would be neat to go to Real City and dip toes into the pool of insanity that is Black Friday. However, as the Spawn is not yet cleared for Interstate driving, Mrs. M decided to act as chauffeur. It is my lovely wife who supplies me with the following report from the Real City Mall.

The Spawn had her ears pierced several years back, but as she didn’t wear earrings very often, the piercings grew closed again. She has lately expressed an interest in having the piercings redone, so Mrs. M accompanied her to a store at the mall for the procedure (and to buy a new pair of earrings.)

After getting situated on the Stool of Perforation, the Spawn noticed a couple of moms with little girls. Said little girls were about six and eight, and the moms told them, “See how this girl just sits very quietly? That’s all you’ll need to do.”

“Great; no pressure,” the Spawn said to Mrs. M, but she tried to encourage the youngsters as well. And this is where things went off the rails.

“I’ve had this done before,” she said. “It really isn’t bad. It’s no worse than getting a shot.”

Now maybe she wasn’t thinking, but for most kids in the 6-8 range, “getting a shot” is an experience about as welcome as vegetables for dessert or having their eyelids devoured by the Closet Monster. The kids bolted.

I don’t think that was the effect the Spawn was going for — and it certainly wasn’t the one that little girls’ moms had in mind, but that’s life on Black Friday.

About profmondo

Dad, husband, mostly free individual, medievalist, writer, and drummer. "Gladly wolde he lerne and gladly teche."
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1 Response to In Which the Spawn Alienates Her Audience

  1. Alaska Jack says:

    “Stool of Perforation”…Wasn’t that a prop from one of the game shows in UHF?

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