Meanwhile, In Middle Tennessee…

The Williamson County School Board has a newly elected chairman, a fellow named Mark Gregory. The election was legitimate, but there are now voices crying out for his resignation. You see, Mr. Gregory helped his brother invent a device called the Buttle Opener. The device is a novelty bottle opener, in the form of a life-sized set of women’s buttocks. One places the bottle in a rather uncomfortable location in order to open it.


Although Mr. Gregory claims he has had no connection with the product (which even I admit looks like something you’d find at Ed Gein’s place) for a couple of years, and has been a member of the school board for a decade, his role in the product’s development has led to an outcry about what is presumed to be his misogyny and his potential to em-bare-ass the school district before it becomes the butt of jokes. Meanwhile, he seems to be telling his critics to, well, shove it. Truly, this election may have been a bad decision that will go down in the anals of history.

Sorry. I couldn’t resist.

About profmondo

Dad, husband, mostly free individual, medievalist, writer, and drummer. "Gladly wolde he lerne and gladly teche."
This entry was posted in Culture, Politics. Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to Meanwhile, In Middle Tennessee…

  1. Oh, please.You could have resisted. You chose not to. Which just goes to show you’re my kind of guy, Mondo…

  2. dave.s. says:

    I myself have hidden away in a drawer a Bill Clinton corkscrew, I should bring it out more often. And have you seen the Hillary Clinton nutcracker? It’s a great country, a great country.

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