The Williamson County School Board has a newly elected chairman, a fellow named Mark Gregory. The election was legitimate, but there are now voices crying out for his resignation. You see, Mr. Gregory helped his brother invent a device called the Buttle Opener. The device is a novelty bottle opener, in the form of a life-sized set of women’s buttocks. One places the bottle in a rather uncomfortable location in order to open it.
Although Mr. Gregory claims he has had no connection with the product (which even I admit looks like something you’d find at Ed Gein’s place) for a couple of years, and has been a member of the school board for a decade, his role in the product’s development has led to an outcry about what is presumed to be his misogyny and his potential to em-bare-ass the school district before it becomes the butt of jokes. Meanwhile, he seems to be telling his critics to, well, shove it. Truly, this election may have been a bad decision that will go down in the anals of history.
Sorry. I couldn’t resist.