I’ve been reading Ace of Spades HQ for years, since I first ran across his envisioning of the the 2004 Democratic field of Presidential candidates as D&D characters. In recent years, he’s more often angry than funny, and I don’t read him as often as I once did — in part, that’s an aspect of my own attempt to care less about politics. But I still check him out fairly often, not least because he’ll occasionally toss out funny, vulgar lines and paragraphs I wish I’d written. This morning offered an example of what I mean, in the context of a post where he grades the participants in last night’s GOP debate:
[Donald Trump’s] answers to questions about Trump University and the budget were somewhat uncomfortable to watch, in much the same way that it is uncomfortable to watch a bus full of circus clowns crash into a school for blind children and even worse the clowns were doing their “Gasoline Comedy” act that day and now all the blind children are on fire and the clowns are trying to squirt water on them with their stupid lapel-flowers but the flowers are just squirting out more gas and the children are crying tears of fire out of their Unseeing Dead Eyes and holy shit a couple of the clowns look like they have boners and they’re chasing around the fiery blind children trying to rub up on them with these bobbling clown-boners with big red bulbs on their tips.
In other words, as Trump would say: Not the best. Really not terrific. A real mess!
Grade: I don’t even know how to even start grading this. As far as a letter grade, I give a red X carved crudely through the face of a rotting pig with a bunch of stripper-glitter tossed on it.
I may reserve that grade for the next Gradeapalooza.