Although it is less in the news of late than when it first broke, a glance at my Facebook feed suggests to me that more than a few of my current and former students remain engaged with Pokemon Go. (Neither the Spawn nor I play, but we know folks who do.) But as we continue our strides toward a world of Incredibles-style repression and enforced helplessness in the crushing embrace of the nanny state, we must view any cultural development as an avenue to indescribable horror (with the accompanying legal bills).
Naturally, then, the nice people from
the Dark Tower our admin building dropped a note in our electronic inboxes about 20 minutes ago. It was from the college’s lawyers, and the title? “Pokemon, No!”
Some of the highlights:
- “There are certain aspects of the game that may make your school a hotspot for Pokémon Go activity, attracting unwanted – and potentially dangerous – visitors. “
- “Your main concern should be over security issues, as strangers could come onto school property, especially during school hours, or lurk near school property before and after school hours. These people will be either searching for Pokémon, or preying upon innocent victims who are distracted while playing the game.” [Italics mine — Prof. M. Lenore Skenazy, call your office.]
- “In addition to being alert to strangers on school property, you must also be aware of the potential risks associated with school staff, including teachers, joining up with students to play the game. […] Ultimately, you should consider whether employees should be prohibited from playing Pokémon Go with students, both in the classroom and after school hours, and from joining a team that includes students.”
- “While blocking access to the game from the district network is a good start, keep in mind that students and staff will still be able to access the app through their personal device’s data plan.” [Horrors! — Prof. M]
While much of the article seems focused on the lower rungs of the educational ladder, I assume someone across campus found it worth our attention here at Mondoville. Meanwhile, I can almost guarantee that by semester’s end, a dozen or more of our students will have been subjected to small-scale traumatic brain injury (better known as concussion) on our athletic fields. No Pokemon will be involved.