This afternoon I (along with most other bilaterally symmetrical life forms, I suspect) received an e-mail informing me that I have been nominated for inclusion in the 2019 edition of Who’s Who in America. It doesn’t appear to be a scam — the publisher and mailing address are correct and such, and no one asked me for my credit card numbers or the times of day at which I’m most vulnerable.
And if this is for real, whoever nominated me was very kind. Still, you know when I’ll actually feel significant? When I get my own Wikipedia entry. Take it away, Doctor…
Professor Mondo 
My favorite Dr. Hook song! And yes, I can name another.