Merry Christmas, 2018

The gifts are open (mine were heavy on Travis McGee novels, replacing the ones I’ve lost over the years, and also included collections of Borges and Philip Larkin), the breakfast is eaten, and the dinner is in the oven. Mrs. M may be getting her well deserved nap, and the Spawn is happily ensconced upstairs as well. But that doesn’t mean the day has lacked adventure…


Mrs. M was well into cooking breakfast when she called to me in the living room. We didn’t have enough milk to make the gravy that would accompany the biscuits. “Can you run down to a convenience store and get a half-gallon?” Of course I could — biscuits and gravy are some of my favorite things, so off I went.

The first gas station? Nothing. Gas station #2? No dice. Gas station #3? There were four pint bottles — with a sell-by date of 17 Dec. The cashier said he couldn’t sell them to me, but thanked me for bringing them up. Gas station #4?  Ah! There’s a half-gallon… with a sell-by date of 23 Dec. A swing and a miss.

Meanwhile, Mrs. M had called my cell to tell me to abandon my quest. Fortunately, I had left my phone in the living room and didn’t get the message, because as I was pulling out of the lot of Station #4, I saw cars moving through the drive-thru of the local McDonalds. I saw a solution, and pulled into line. When my turn came around, I asked what size their milk bottles were.

And that’s how I paid almost nine bucks for a half-gallon of milk, half a pint at a time. But you know what? Those biscuits and gravy made for a happy meal indeed.


I hope your Christmas morning has been as happy as ours, and less hectic. And to celebrate, here’s one of my favorite carols, in a version I ran across last year. From SoCal psychsters The Jigsaw Seen, here’s “God Rest Ye Merry, Gentlemen.” (And ladies, please feel included as well.)

Merry Christmas — may there be peace on earth, and good will to all.

About profmondo

Dad, husband, mostly free individual, medievalist, writer, and drummer. "Gladly wolde he lerne and gladly teche."
This entry was posted in Culture, Faith, Family, Literature. Bookmark the permalink.

1 Response to Merry Christmas, 2018

  1. I loved this story about the milk. I can see myself having to do that one day, for some reason. But ya gotta do what you gotta do to get the gravy made.

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