… and since she’s been to the US, Canada, and the Bahamas, I guess she counts.
So, a couple of years ago, the Spawn came down to the den, where I was reading or noodling around online. “Dad?” she said.
“So I’m told.”
“What would you think if I told you I wanted to date a girl?”
“Well, if you like her, and if she’s a nice person who treats you well, and if you’re both interested, that seems like something I’d be okay with.”
“But you wouldn’t be mad at me?”
“Why? You’re my daughter, and I love you. It’s not like you’d be harming someone.”
And as we talked, it occurred to me that I wasn’t particularly surprised. She had a boyfriend for a while in high school, but never seemed to go through the whole gooey, in-L-U-V-luv thing, and actually seemed pretty relieved when they split up. Beyond that, she never really had much to say about boys, dating, or any of that. So I may have wondered for some time, somewhere below the radar, or maybe just barely on the screen, but I figured that if she wanted to talk about her love life at some point, she likely would. And now she had.
“Is there someone you have in mind?” I asked.
“Um, you know the group of friends that I talk with online all the time?”
“One of them — Dani — and I — well, we like each other. A lot.”
“Okay. Where does she live?”
“Isn’t that going to make dating a bit of a challenge?”
“Yes and no. We watch movies online together, and we chat and talk constantly, and we’re talking about meeting face to face, and we were wondering what you’d think about it.”
“Honestly, I’m a little concerned, but more about the fact that all your contact has been online. Which,” I added, “would bug me if it were a guy, too. I don’t think it would be a great idea for you just to take off to Maryland to meet this girl, but maybe we can figure something out.”
And as it happened, and after more months of nightly phone calls, we found out that the U of Maryland has a very strong grad program in library science, so we decided to take a campus visit and incorporate some time for the two of them to get together. And they did, and one thing has led to another, and Dani became the Spawn’s Main (and honestly, only) Squeeze. We’ve had the pleasure of hosting her here last Christmas and for the Spawn’s graduation from Mondoville. She seems to be a really good kid, and it’s evident that she and the Spawn click when they’re together, whether geographically or virtually. Really, the Spawn has been happier than I can remember her being in many years, and it makes sense. She loves someone who loves her back. And that’s what I’ve wanted for her all along.
They spend their weekends together now — where she has been welcomed by her girlfriend’s family, and the Main Squeeze will be moving into the Spawn’s place in January, as she’ll be finishing her degree. After they graduate, I wouldn’t be at all surprised to see them get engaged; they certainly talk about it enough.
And while this has gone on for a while, I’ve kept most of it off the blog for the same reason I’ve generally used semi-anonymous handles for most of the people who show up around here — it’s my blog, and I write about my life, but I try to give the personal stuff at least a very thin veneer of privacy. Most of my surviving family knows, as do some of our friends (and pretty much all of hers), but I didn’t see a way to talk about it here that didn’t feel like it was out of the blue. But in fact, the Spawn has wondered for a while if I was ever going to let the penny drop. I told her that I wanted to find a way to talk about it that didn’t feel gratuitous to me. And then today I found out it was International Lesbian Day (which, for all I know, was invented by the employees of Hallmark), so I asked if she thought today was a good day to write about it.
“Heck, yeah,” she said, and sent me a picture from last weekend, when they went to a local orchard for cider and apple-picking.
So here we are. Love you, kid. We’ll talk tonight.